


Which Comes First?

by genderneutralnoun



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Crack, Gen, Memes, Nonbinary My Unit | Byleth, Writing practice, informal prompt fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:21:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23286958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genderneutralnoun/pseuds/genderneutralnoun
Summary: A very short support I wrote for practice. I asked for an idea on my Discord server and got "make them talk about cereal". It's kinda Dimitri & Edelgard focused, because I am gay for both of them.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Which Comes First?

-Dimitri is sitting at a mess hall table. Artwork of cereal pops up.-

Dimitri: I must say, this meal is quite invigorating!

-Edelgard walks onstage-

Edelgard, concerned: Dimitri, could you keep it down? Whatever are you doing?

Dimitri, frown, sweat: Ah… I was trying this new cuisine the professor introduced to me. Apparently it’s a quick-to-prepare breakfast food they would have on the road as a mercenary.

Edelgard: I see… How could such a thing make so much noise, though?

Dimitri: Well, this is not my first time having it… The professor prepared it for me originally. In my excitement to try it, I quite neglected to observe how they did so.

Dimitri, sweat: So I have had to attempt multiple times to recreate the result.

Edelgard, frown: …I see. 

Edelgard, frown: Well, do you suppose you’ll be making much more sound in the future? My housemates have gardening duty right next to the dining hall, and none of them can focus on it. 

Dimitri, smile: Oh, I don’t think so. I’ll try to avoid making such a racket in the future.

Edelgard: Thank you. I appreciate it.

-Edelgard begins to walk away-

Dimitri: *Crunch, crunch, crunch*

Edelgard, frown: What in the world is that infernal noise?

-Edelgard turns back towards Dimitri-

Dimitri: Oh, I apologize. The noise is entirely of my doing.

Edelgard, frown: …Didn’t you just say you would avoid making noise?

Dimitri, frown: I did, but unfortunately I cannot prevent making noise in this case.

Dimitri: According to the professor, this “cereal” must be savored quickly, before the milk has a chance to make the cereal soggy.

Dimitri: Hence my crunching.

Edelgard: Did you say milk? What a curious combination.

-Edelgard walks over, and stops next to Dimitri-

Edelgard, frown: …It would seem that you poured the cereal in first, and then the milk. Would that not make it soggy more quickly?

Dimitri: Oh, you misunderstand! The appeal of cereal is the delicate balance of the milk’s smoothness and the cereal’s crunch and flavor. The closer you can get to mixing the two without achieving sogginess, the better it tastes.

Dimitri, sweat: At least, that is how I understand it.

Edelgard, frown: I would think that the balance depends on the contrast, not the combination. Therefore, it would make more sense to pour the milk first, then the cereal.

Dimitri, angry: No, you don’t-

-Footsteps can be heard. Both Edelgard and Dimitri look behind them.-

Edelgard, surprised: Oh, Professor, is that you?

Byleth: Yes.

Byleth: Can I join you, Dimitri?

Dimitri, surprised: Of course.

-Byleth sits down next to Dimitri, opposite Edelgard.-

Byleth: I’m starving.

-Byleth reaches for something in front of Dimitri. Artwork of them pouring both milk and cereal into a bowl pops up.-

Edelgard, surprised, sweat: (They… poured both at the same time…)

Dimitri, surprised, sweat: (Incredible…) 

Dimitri, sweat: Professor, do you mind me asking… Which is usually done for optimal flavor, when eating cereal?

Dimitri, sweat: Pouring the milk first, or the cereal?

Byleth, frown: …It’s just cereal.

Edelgard, frown: What do you mean?

Byleth, frown: It’s just food. You just eat it, because it’s good for you. Doesn’t matter how you do it.

Byleth: Sometimes, I eat cereal without milk, out of the box.

Edelgard: …I see.

Dimitri: …Would that not be… unsanitory?

Byleth: Food is more important.

-Byleth turns their attention to the food in front of them.-

Byleth: *Crunch, crunch, crunch*

Edelgard, sweat: …

Dimitri, sweat: …

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know what to say. I have nothing. I'm sorry.


End file.
